Enabling Information Sheet

 

Enabling is when a person allows another person to continue abusive or self destructive behavior. Enabling is a system of behaviors, ideas, attitudes and feelings that unwittingly allow or encourage alcohol or other drug problems to continue or worsen by not letting the chemically dependent person experience their consequences. For example, when a person calls in sick for someone who is hung-over from partying the night before, that person is not allowing the chemically dependent person to experience the negative consequences or to take responsibility for their behavior.

 

 

1. Express your care and concern.

2. Talk only of behaviors that indicate some problem.

3. Offer some kind of help and support.

4. Don’t argue and defend your position.

 

I care ______________________________________________________________

            (express how you feel about the person)

I see _______________________________________________________________

            (list 3 or 4 specific facts that YOU have witnessed)

I feel _______________________________________________________________

            (state a feeling word with what you saw; i.e. worried, concerned, etc.)

I want ______________________________________________________________

            (state what you would like to have happen with their permission;

            i.e. go to an A.A. meeting, see a counselor, etc.)

I will _______________________________________________________________

            (state how you will follow up, show your commitment to them)

 

**REMEMBER: YOU CAN ENCOURAGE BUT YOU CANNOT CONTROL ANOTHER PERSON. REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO!